Monday, March 05, 2007

For Sale: Me

Funny title, huh? Let me explain what I mean...

About six years ago, I was looking for a new job. I've always worked in a business environment, so all I knew was that I didn't want a job involving sales (thinking at the time that a job in sales meant a job in retail). My plan was to apply for a position at a bank. Little did I know that that included sales.

Fast forward to now. I am currently working as an account executive, directly involved in making sales. Theoretically, it's like living my worst nightmare. BUT I am a people-person and I feel that I am capable of having a sophisticated conversation with whoever I meet and I am also able to convey the pros and cons of things to people so as to make them see that what I am "selling" is beneficial to them.

The thing is that that's only one dimension of the dreaded S-word. When it all comes down to it, life is like an on-going sales process. We sell ourselves to strangers in the hopes of making friends, we sell ourselves to our teachers in the hopes of making a lasting impression that might get us a better grade, we sell ourselves to our parents when we want to make independent decisions, we sell ourselves to potential suitors in the hopes of finding our very own fairy tale relationship.

There comes a time in our lives when we get sick of all this selling. At least, that's how I feel. I have confidence in myself and the things I do and am capable of doing, so why do I feel like I have to keep proving myself to the world?

I'm actually feeling a bit drained and lost because of all this "selling". It takes a whole lot of energy to keep up with the daily "transactions" in life. It's like a never-ending story. Makes me want to crawl into bed and never get out.

I know what I want. At least I'm pretty sure I do. So how come I'm finding it so hard to sell myself to the right people in order to get what I want?

** SIGH ** Alright. Enough. It's that time of month and I felt the need to rant a bit. It would be nice if I could find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Or maybe just a case of wine and a bunch of sappy movies. lol