Ready, Set, Commit

Historically, and stereotypically, speaking, men have been known to be the commitment-phobic gender. Innumerable women have stood by patiently, waiting for the moment when their partners felt ready to take the relationship to the next level, whatever that level may be. This phobia seems to be made up of a group lingering fears ranging from the fear of what's ahead in your life (do you really want to include someone in your life to the point that you are making decisions together instead of having the freedom of independence), to the fear of what is yet to be discovered about your partner (who knows what skeletons might be locked up in that closet), to the fear of giving more importance to your relationship with one person when there might, in fact, be someone out there better suited and more worthy of being with you (so many people, so little time), to the fear of what you might become with the influence of who you're with (be who you want to be, do what you want to do, who needs the peer pressure).

Slowly, but surely, though, there is a commitment revolution stirring. In this day and age where women are evolving and becoming more equal to men in the eyes of society, they find themselves holding a few more cards in their hands. There's an interesting shift going on, where women are throwing their conventional ideals to the wind and deciding to take a more male approach to relationships. It's almost as if the I'm-not-ready-for-a-commitment virus has spread to the previously always-ready-for-a-commitment gender.

Here's where it gets to be a bit more confusing, at least for men. Let's look at this as a comparison. Before: the majority of women were supposed to be ready to commit at the drop of a hat, the question always being whether their men were ready to make things more serious. After: even when the man feels ready to commit, the woman now has the possibility of taking her time to decide on if she is ready to take the next step with her male companion of the moment.

It makes you wonder if the world has gone mad, really. How could things get so out-of-hand? It's incomprehensible. It's unexpected. (It's amusing, actually.)

In a way, it's unbalancing the triangular theory of love, where the combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment characterizes the type of love being experienced in a relationship. Could it be that women were all looking to achieve the highest form of love, consummate love, the love that includes giving 100% intimacy, 100% passion, and 100% commitment to your partner, and are now content with sharing their passion and intimacy without any commitment at all?

I guess it's a theory. In reality, it's a very plausible theory if you ask me. But where exactly does that leave me? Probably in the same place as many other women out there who are now confused with their new-found freedom, stuck in the middle of the love triangle of intimacy, passion, and commitment, questioning their roles, old and new, and looking ahead to a green light along an unknown, foggy road.